Uncomfortable
by Analya-Shepard
Summary: How does Kaidan feel, after just a few conversations with Shepard, about her seeing the Consort alone? Does she even like him? Set during the first game. Multi-chapter story featuring the beloved Shenko pairing! Both perspectives though mostly from Kaidan's. Content rating subject to change.
1. Where it started

_Author's Note: Hello! So whilst doing yet another playthrough of the game series, I happened to giggle uncontrollably when I went to see the Consort, and brought Kaidan along. He was in the background of basically every shot just STARING at Shepard. And then I got this idea in my head, and I had to write it out. I might continue this into a multi-chapter story if there's enough interest. For now, enjoy the single chapter!_

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><p>Kaidan wasn't very comfortable waiting back on the Normandy while Shepard was with the Consort.<p>

They'd only known each other for a few months, sure, but he liked her already. A lot. He'd just spoken to her a few days ago about his time at BAaT, and he'd opened up considerably to her through that small talk. The flirting was a little rough around the edges, but it worked between them and he was pretty sure she liked him too. And when he and Ashely had been told to meet her back on the Normandy, Kaidan was anything but happy. The Gunnery Chief teased him the whole way back, though it was in good nature so he let most of it slide. Ashley was like a little sister to him, and she knew just as much about what was going on as Kaidan did. Maybe even more.

"Seriously Kaidan, she's going to flip if she finds out you haven't eaten anything when she comes back." Ashley said through a mouthful of fake hamburger. IT was pretty good for imitation, but nothing would ever beat a grilled burger for him.

"She won't flip." he dismissed, leaning against the wall near the terminal he was constantly repairing. The damn thing broke so often he made it his job to fix it.

"Alright, maybe she won't. But don't you think you're reacting a _little_ strong to this? She's with the Consort, for all we know they could be talking about dresses or some crap like that."

"And if they weren't talking?" Kaidan eyed her, then looking away before the color on his cheeks would show. Did he just tell her? He glanced over and Ashley was trying not to choke on her food, laughing.

"Oh my god! Do you have the hots for the Commander?"

He shifted his stance just enough so that she was out of his direct line of sight.

"You do!" she spluttered, then going into a laughing fit that nearly made her cry. Kaidan shook his head and walked to- ... Where would he go? Ashley would just follow him and tease him even more. It's not like she was entirely wrong, either. Sighing in frustration he gave in and went to grab some of the mediocre food, sitting down across from Ashley in silence as she went on for the next twenty minutes about how great this was going to be to watch. She grew tired of teasing him when he gave no reaction, and eventually left to go back down to the weapons bench.

He sat there pushing around the remains of food on his plate for a good half an hour after Ashley had left. And when he heard familiar boots on the stairs he straightened up a little, suddenly feeling even more anxious. And then Shepard appeared around the corner in her uniform, looking a little frazzled. She saw Kaidan and smiled.

"Hey." she sounded cheerful.

"Hey." he returned, anything but.

"Are you still hungry?"

"A little."

"Want to go get some real food on the Citadel? I'll buy." She stood there with her hands in her pockets, and he pushed the plate back and stood up without a word, accepting her offer. They walked in relative silence the whole way.

"Where are we going?" he asked eventually.

"I don't know."

"You don't know? I thought you'd have some idea since you were offering." He tried not to look at her too much, but she was a little bit ahead of him, and the pants on her uniform really brought out the curves-

_Alenko, stop that._ he chided himself, snapping his eyes back to the lake on his left.

"Sometimes I just like walking." she shrugged. Clearly she'd noticed his behavior because she turned a little. "Are you feeling okay? You've been acting a little weird all day."

"I'm fine. Really."

There was silence and Shepard turned, leading them to a sushi bar. He'd never had sushi before, but he gave in to trying it. It was then he realized that unofficially, they were on a date at the moment. He cut himself some slack and tried to smile and have a nice conversation with her. It was working well until they'd finished eating and were working on finishing off their drinks.

"So you seemed a little distracted when we went into Chora's Den earlier." she said over the rim of her glass. "You're not shopping around are you?"

"What?" he smirked a little, and tried not to notice the burning sensation creeping up his neck to his face.

"I saw you looking." she grinned, leaning forward. "See anything that struck your fancy?"

"Shepard-"

"Don't try to hide it." she chuckled, pointing a finger at him as she held her glass. She then brought it to her lips again and set it down, empty. Kaidan sighed and sat back.

"Fine, I looked."

"And?"

"Nothing." he smirked, holding her gaze for what seemed like forever. Until she looked away, nodding. He thought she looked pleased with his reply. Now it was his turn. "Why, did you see something you liked in there?"

"There was this one guy that kept following me around. It was a little creepy at first." she said, looking over to the other tables, then back at him with a grin, both sharing a laugh.

"And what happened?"

"He got a little... Shall we say _uncomfortable _when I went to see the Consort."

The game was over and Kaidan's smile quickly disappeared, as did Shepard's. He cleared his throat and looked down at his glass, drinking the last of it.

"We should really get back-"

"Why did that make you so uncomfortable?"

He thought he'd heard someone behind them talking at first. He'd never heard her voice so soft, it almost didn't seem like her vocal chords should be capable of producing such a sweet sound. He stared at her and she repeated herself.

"I... guess I'm just not very fond of the way some Asari interact with others." he shrugged, wishing he could melt into the seat he was in.

"Specifically me."

"Yeah..."

"I can handle myself, you know."

"I'm aware of that, Shepard." he narrowed his eyes a little, noting the defensive tone in her voice. "I guess maybe I'm looking into things a little more than I should."

"What do you mean?"

"Our talk the other day... After we grabbed Liara." he didn't need to explain himself further as she nodded. They were silent.

"Let's go take a walk." she said suddenly, moving to stand up. "Easier to talk that way." he nodded and stood up, letting her pay as she promised. He'd decided he liked sushi enough to have it again, and they went to go walk along the edge of one of the lakes near the Normandy's docking bay. It was quiet until he spoke.

"It took a lot for me to tell you that stuff, you know." he was staring at their feet as they walked, a little amused that each step was perfectly in sync.

"I'm glad you told me, though. I'll have to come up with something to tell you, one of these days."

"Something that I couldn't find on the extranet?" he smiled, sparing her a glance in her eyes.

"There's a lot that doesn't get published about me."

"Well then... I'm looking forward to it."

Then there was silence again. They walked for about ten more minutes before she sighed and looked around. He watched her, aware that she was thinking of something to say.

"About earlier with the Consort," he started, realizing that he really didn't have a clue as to what he could say.

"Yeah?"

"Maybe it bothered me that you didn't seem phased at how... _personal_ she was getting with you. And the fact that you sent Ash and I back to the Normandy."

"What, you think I had sex with her, or something?" Shepard said blatantly. He couldn't stop his eyes from widening.

"I- no! I just didn't feel comfortable leaving you."

"Why?" she stopped near the edge of the pathway and leaned against the rail, eyes trained on him. He stopped and stood in front of her. He raked a hand through his hair and sighed, throwing his hands in the air.

"I don't know, Shepard. Something just makes me want to protect you against everything. Maybe I'm too good of a soldier to leave my Commander."

"You're a terrible soldier if you can't leave your Commander." she snorted, looking over her shoulder. "I don't think that's really all there is to it, though."

"Then what did I leave out?"

"I think it's pretty obvious that you like me a lot more than a friend." she said, putting her hands in her pockets again, staring blankly as pursed her lips and pushed them to the left side of her face. It was... Cute.

"Wouldn't be the first person to tell me that." he said, putting his own hands in his pockets and deciding to stand beside her. She nudged his arm with her elbow.

"Hey. As long as we can keep it separate from our duties, I don't have a problem with seeing where this goes..."

"What?" he was a little shocked to say the least, and he stared right into her eyes. She rolled hers and threw her head back as she scoffed.

"You're so dense, Kaidan. I'm pretty sure Joker caught on before you did just now."

Kaidan couldn't help but let the heat spread through his entire body. Surely he was glowing red, but he managed to keep his voice pretty calm when he spoke.

"Well with my past experience, I guess I've just developed a habit of not paying attention to what's going on around me."

"Not anymore." she smiled, standing up. "Let's get back before that damned pilot starts any more rumors he's going to regret."

"Yes ma'am." he smiled, following her back and shamelessly keeping a few steps behind her. He could have sworn she swayed her hips a little more just for him. Kaidan could get used to this...


	2. A New Perspective - part 1

_Author's Note: I was not expecting this many people to read this story. Honestly. But thank you so much! Especially _**Andamarthiel, PillarofNormandy, **_and _**QueenFreckles** _for following, and to _**HappySticky, hollietta,**_ and _**PillarofNormandy**_ for favoriting! If you would like to see something, like oh I don't know... a certain situation... I'd be more than happy to try and fit it in to the story. Just shoot me a message. Anyway, enjoy!_

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><p>Unlatching the armor on his shoulders, Kaidan was absolutely disgusted. Feros had not been kind to anyone, but he was glad the colonists had been saved. At least most of them. Fai Dan had sacrificed himself for everyone else, and it had been a little hard on Shepard. He could tell that much already as he watched her remove her own armor.<p>

And then suddenly he was reminded why he was so glad to be getting a few days of shore leave. He felt some of the Thorian Creeper muck slide down his back. He shuddered and scowled. He heard Shepard laugh and immediately scowled at her.

"Oh come on, Alenko. It'll wash off." she said, just as a chunk rolled down her arm. Even though they were all wearing bodysuits under the armor, they could still feel everything. He saw her try to hide the disgust and then it was his turn to laugh. "Cut that out." she snapped.

"It'll wash off." he repeated, his tone very teasing. He'd completely forgotten about the third member of the party who cleared his throat a little menacingly. Kaidan suddenly straightened his back as Wrex glared before walking to his station. He'd been the brunt of the attack but he was surprisingly clean of the muck.

And now it was just the two of them, and Kaidan did his best to respect his Commanding Officer's privacy as she began peeling off her body suit. He did, however, get a small glimpse at her backside, spotting something red along the left side of her rib cage. So she had a tattoo... Alright. He quickly snapped his head back to the corner before she could spot him, though. They both stepped into their respective showering spaces and Kaidan was aware that she could have easily just gone to her quarters to shower. But perhaps she was just as disgusted with all the chunks as he had been.

Kaidan pulled on a spare uniform when he got out, leaving his hair damp as he reached over to wash off the armor. Shepard promised him he'd get a new set when they went back to the Citadel, seeing as he was quickly becoming one of her favorites on the team. It was partially because of his biotics, he knew, and the other part... Well he'd just not think about it right now. She _was_ in the shower next to him. He shook it off quickly, for fear of needing another shower. He focused instead on scrubbing the plates clean, glad that they didn't scuff easily. He set them to dry and then turned to walk out of the room.

"Kaidan?" he heard Shepard call out, just as he was about to go through the door. He paused.

"Yeah?"

"Mind if I talk with you when I'm done with the Council?"

"You know where to find me." he said, then walking out. With a smile on his face. Though it only lasted a matter of seconds until he saw someone lurking around the corner of the main deck. With a sigh, he prepared himself for what was surely coming his way.

"Hey, is Skipper still in there?" Ashley came out, following the Lieutenant as he walked back towards his station.

"She is. Do you need to talk to her?"

"Yeah."

"I'll tell her to go find you, then." he said, walking down the stairs. Ash was still right behind him, and he knew that it was so she could get to her own work station. At least until he passed the elevator and realized she was still following him. He paused and turned half way to look at her. "Do you need something from me?"

"Joker said we were heading back to the Citadel. Thought I'd hang out up here for a bit since we're not officially on duty for another three hours." She folded her arms over her chest. "Why, am I going to bother you if I stand here?"

"I'd really like a little time to myself before I start talking." he sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck.

"That's a shame." came a third, familiar voice. Kaidan's stomach flipped and without thinking his eyes flew towards the source of the voice - just over Ashley's right shoulder. "I was hoping we could talk." Shepard smiled as she came up besides Ashley. Kaidan could only stand there, struggling to come up with an answer before Shepard spoke again. "Chief, I believe you have work to be doing."

"Yes ma'am." Ashley saluted crisply, turning quickly to walk away. Though when she was turning towards the elevator, Kaidan saw her flash an excessively wide grin at him. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Thanks..."

"Can we still talk, or do you need time?"

The tone in her voice indicated that she wasn't just going to be talking about the mission, and that alone made him even more nervous. It was hard enough to stay focused after... their date? He still wasn't really clear on what had happened. He suddenly remembered she'd said she was going to contact the Council, and he doubted the conversation had been that fast.

"We can talk now. But weren't you going to contact the Council?"

"Nah. I can always talk to them in person." Shepard moved to take a seat near the orange screen. For safe measure Kaidan sat with one seat between them, though he would have loved to sit right next to her. "You were working yourself pretty hard today, it seemed like there was something on your mind that you wanted to get out."

He took a pause to think about it. Had he been working any harder than usual, or was she just trying to get him to tell her what was on his mind? Kaidan was already suffering from the lack of adrenaline, and in the back of his head he could feel a migraine coming. It wouldn't bother him for another half hour, at least. Maybe more if he ate soon.

"Kaidan?" he was snapped out of his thoughts, and he looked up, letting out a nervous laugh.

"Sorry. I guess I do have a lot on my mind." he said quietly. Unintentionally he rubbed at the back of his neck again, maybe to try and push back the migraine.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" her voice grew softer, quieter. Her body, he saw now, was turned towards him, with her elbow propped up on the back of the seat so that her hand could properly hold up her head. It pushed her cheek up so that her right eye was a little smaller.

"Guess I'm just thinking about when we talked last." he said, voice equally as quiet as hers. There was probably no one in the area but them, though for the sake of making sure someone didn't tattle, they had silently agreed to be quiet about it.

"Hm." she nodded, and crossed her leg over her knee, glancing to the orange screen.

He couldn't tell what she was thinking, and so he just watched her. She had a nice facial profile. Her nose was a little smaller than it looked from the front, but he found himself looking at her lips. They weren't pale like they'd been last time. They were a dark pink color, now. And glossy. Definitely not what he'd seen last time. She turned to look at him again and he was only now starting to notice everything else. The small freckles across her nose and cheeks. Her eyes were a nice shade of green, too. Maybe he hadn't noticed it before because her eyelashes seemed to contrast the color so nicely. He cleared his throat out of habit, not sure what to say.

"Alright don't tell anyone, but the only reason we're going to the Citadel is so I can see an old friend for her birthday." she muttered, smiling a little because she'd leaned in closer.

"Am I allowed to know the name of said friend?"

"Sam Kirkold. I grew up on Arcturus with her. Our parents were good friends, so naturally we saw each other often." Shepard grinned as her voice grew bolder and cast her eyes down to the floor. "We got into a lot of trouble then, too." Her eyes flicked back up to his and he swallowed to force the blush to stay beneath his clothes.

"I'm sure your parents are glad you're much more well-behaved, now."

"I'm not _that_ well-behaved. I just have more authority and a better sense of when to let loose." she chuckled, sitting back again.

"I'll bet you have some good stories, though."

"Someday I'm sure you'll get to hear them all." she said, her voice going soft again. If that wasn't an answer to his question, he didn't know what was.

"That's... Very reassuring."

"Hm. Well don't let it get to your head." she smirked, moving to stand up. "I should probably go talk with some of the others, before someone starts prying." she sighed and glanced up to the ceiling, indicating that she was talking about Joker. Her eyes fell back down and she smiled. "We can talk more after dinner."

"I'd like that." he said as she walked away. And he did enjoy watching her walk away in this manner. He just hoped it wouldn't become a sight he'd get too familiar with.


	3. A New Perspective - part 2

_Author's Note: I would sincerely like to thank_ **Kima20142 **_for following and favoriting, _**Annunbalien**_ for following, and _**riehull**_ for following and favoriting. I understand that while this story will follow the events of the game, that it will not have much of the actual game other than what happens on the Normandy. If you would like this to change, please send me a message. And as always, I'm more than willing to take requests for plot bunnies, so long as they fit in the timeline. _

_This chapter picked up right after part on from Shepard's perspective. Enjoy!_

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><p>Catherine walked towards the elevator, curious to know why Ashley had been bothering Kaidan. She was pretty sure the other woman was just talking with him, and she didn't want to give off the wrong message. Well maybe a little. She was interested in Kaidan, and she'd put up a fight to make sure she was the only one he was paying attention to. Having gone through being 'the other woman' in the past... It never ended well for anyone.<p>

"This elevator is too fucking slow." she huffed, standing inside and watching as the walls moved her closer and closer to the cargo bay. When the door finally opened, she sighed with relief, and walked over towards Ashley who was going through her terminal, instead of cleaning the guns. But then again, it looked like that was already taken care of. As she got closer, she could hear a woman's voice from the terminal. Ashley let out quiet laughter until Shepard was close enough that she noticed someone behind her.

"Hey Commander."

"Have you got a minute?"

"Sure. I was just checking up on some vid mail from home-"

"Oh, and I saw Kaidan. He's cute! Later sis!"

"Oh boy." Ashley sighed, smiling as she put a hand to her head, her face turning red.

"Who was that?" she smiled.

"My younger sister, Sarah." Ashley smiled, and then straightened up, clearing her throat. "So, what'd you need, Skipper?"

"I was just coming by to talk with you. I was also curious what you and the Lieutenant were talking about. He seemed a little uncomfortable."

"I didn't mean to make him uncomfortable. I was just going to chat with him, get to know him a little bit. I mean... If that's okay." Ashley added on as Shepard crossed her arms over her chest.

"I have no problem with you getting to know the rest of the crew. I think forming bonds is what separates a good crew from a great crew." she tried to remain neutral, not sure what Ashley's intentions were.

"He seems like a good guy. A little stiff, but that's how my dad was sometimes. Guess it's just part of being a marine." Ashley leaned back against the bench. Catherine had a feeling that there was something else she wanted to say.

"I hope you know this is all off the record." she decided to say, moving to lean against some of the crates the guns were stored in. That seemed to do it because Ashley smiled.

"I was gonna ask about your date with him."

"Excuse me?" she struggled not to gawk at what she'd just said. How much did she know? How much could she know?

"Word got around... A few crew members overheard you two went out for dinner on the Citadel last we were there. And you two were gone for nearly three hours." Ashley shrugged with a bit of a smirk. "It's not like it's hard to tell what's going on from the way you two look at each other, either."

Slowly, her hand raised to her temple in a similar manner that Ashley had just moments ago. She then closed her eyes and let out a sigh.

"I really hope it's not that obvious that I like him." she muttered. She had to talk to someone about this, and Ashley seemed like she was pretty quiet about personal matters.

"Other than the fact you bring him along every time you leave the ship, it's not that obvious." there was a pause, "Listen. With what I know about what's going on, you're going to need someone to lean on. Not just a friend, but someone who's going to stand up for you when you can't. I'm not really good at that sort of thing and Liara's too interested in the Protheans, Tali is way too talkative, Garrus has a stick up his ass, and Wrex is... Well, you know."

"What are you trying to get at?" Shepard sighed, having a hard time following the line of thought.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes you need someone to blow off steam with. However that gets done." Ashley shrugged and looked down at her feet. "We're just getting started with this mission. I can tell it's going to be a long journey, and there might even be a few who won't make it. As far as groundside goes, everyone's got your back. But up here..." Ashley looked back up, into Shepard's eyes, "You really need to make sure someone has your back up here, too. Alenko seems like he fits that job description pretty nicely for you." she cracked a smile. "My sister would agree with me on that one."

Catherine smirked and shook her head as she laughed. When she looked back at Ashley, she was amazed that this woman was so wise already.

"Thanks for the talk, Ash. I should probably go see some of the others, now." she pushed back off the crates. "Can you do me a favor-"

"My lips are sealed. At least unless a certain biotic asks." Ashley smirked and Shepard tried not to think about it, clearing her throat.

"Thanks." she started walking.

"Oh, Skipper?" Shepard paused, and looked back. "Might want to add a little eye shadow next time you go to the Citadel."

"Noted." Catherine smirked, going towards Wrex, who greeted her with about as much friendliness as teenager waking up at 8 A.M. on a Saturday.

He was interesting, even if he didn't have much to say. The words he did say told much more about him than she'd initially thought. Former mercenary or not, Wrex seemed like he was meant for bigger, better things. Feros had shown her that more than anything. Maybe it was the nature of Krogan that made him such a good killer, but Wrex didn't storm in like she'd seen many of his kind do. He kept back from the heart of the battle, making sure that Shepard had been protected from all sides. He was loyal, and she hoped she could return the favor some day. Wrex was showing Catherine with each little talk that he was worth her time outside of battle.

Next, she went to Garrus. It was a little boring that he'd talk about C-Sec so much. But since it'd been part of his life for as long as he could remember, she supposed it was much like when she talked about the Alliance. She'd grown up with it and so she talked about it frequently. So, she could see the reason why he brought it up with every conversation, until you mentioned the Mako. He seemed like he loved that thing more than Joker loved the Normandy. And that spoke volumes. But, he was good at his job, always thorough in the maintenance and actively seeking to make improvements to it. She offered to help a few times, but he insisted that based on the way she drove she wouldn't be of much help. No offense, of course.

She was starting to feel hungry, and decided that Tali and Liara could wait to be talked to until tomorrow. She went back up, and was glad no one was around to hear her stomach growl. That's what she got for being a biotic, even if she rarely ever used her gift. The mess was empty, and after getting her meal and peeking around the corner, she was mildly disappointed Kaidan wasn't anywhere to be found.

_Probably a migraine. S_he thought to herself as she sat down. Maybe she'd go look for him and make sure he'd be okay. Every once in a while she would get migraines, though she was sure they weren't nearly as bad as the ones he got. Still, knowing how bad it _could_ hurt made her that much more empathetic. A few of the other crew members filed in and sat around, keeping a respectful distance from the Commander. Shepard sparked up a little conversation that lasted until she was done eating about ten minutes later. Standing up, she walked over to put her tray in the machine to wash it before she walked towards the med bay.

Sure enough when she walked in, there were hardly any lights on except for the glow of Chakwas' terminal. Quietly walking over towards Kaidan, she saw he was on his back with his left arm thrown over his eyes. The way his mouth was turned told her that he was enduring the worst of it right now. She felt bad about disturbing him, but she wanted to know. She tapped on his shoulder twice.

"Hey Kaidan." she whispered.

"Everything okay?" he said through his teeth.

"Just checking up on you. Did you get anything to eat yet?"

"No."

"Do you want me to bring you anything?" she waited for nearly a minute before he pulled his arm away. She could see the light bouncing off of his eyes that looked more than tired.

"That'd be great."

"Just lay down, I'll be back in a minute." she smiled. She hadn't realized she'd sat down next to him until she hopped off, feeling a cold spot on her hip. She must have been touching him. She shrugged it off as she went back to the mess. The crew that was there had vanished, and been replaced by the crew in the cargo bay and engineering.

"Hey Shepard." Tali chirped happily. "Going to eat with us?" She walked over a little bit with the tray, a sad smile on her face.

"I already ate, sorry. This is for the Lieutenant, he has a migraine. Just wanted to make sure he got something good to eat instead of those stupid nutrition bars."

"I hope he feels better." Tali nodded as she squeezed a little more paste out of the tube into a compartment in her helmet. Catherine noted that she'd have to ask about that next time, as she turned back towards the med bay.

Kaidan was still laying down, but his hands were folded on his chest. Chakwas was just walking back in from the other room and nodded quietly as a greeting. Catherine went over by Kaidan and sat down again, holding the tray in her lap.

"Hey... Can you sit up?" she said, a little bit louder than a whisper.

"Yeah." he grunted as he sat up, turning on a light on the far side of the room so he could see without being blinded. She tried not to comment about how shitty he looked, but he probably knew.

"Here. I tried to get you the things that had more flavor." she handed the tray over.

"Thanks. I owe you." he said, already reaching for the sandwich. She smiled and nudged him.

"Come see me in my quarters when you're feeling better." she hopped back off, unaware if he'd heard what she said or not. He was making a mess of the food but she was glad he was eating. She left with a little smile on her face that everyone in the mess saw as she walked back up the stairs.

"Told you." she could hear Wrex rumbling as she walked off.


	4. The Initiation

_Author's Note: This chapter is going to skip around a little bit. I've also determined that while Shepard has biotic capabilities, she tends to favor her guns in a fight. So that should make the second half of this chapter interesting. Let me know what you liked, what you didn't like, and what you might want to see in the future. Enjoy!__  
><em>

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><p>Kaidan felt like he was being watched on his walk over to Shepard's quarters. There wasn't anyone in the area, seeing as it was nearly midnight, but he had a feeling he knew who was watching. Either way he was just doing what he'd been told. He looked down at the panel and sighed as he pushed it down, glad that the lock on the door flashed red. He leaned against the wall and waited patiently for a few minutes before it opened. He saw Shepard still in uniform and looking dead tired. But she was smiling.<p>

"Hey." she said quietly.

"Hey..." he didn't know what to say.

"You can come in for a few minutes if you want."

"Um... Sure." he said, pushing off the wall and brushing past her. It was... Really dark in her quarters. Almost like there was supposed to be another light somewhere. He took a minute to let his eyes adjust and he heard more than saw Shepard move to sit at her desk.

"So, are you feeling any better?"

"I've still got a small headache, but I'm sure I can sleep it off." Kaidan paused and looked at her as she sat in her chair, twisting from side to side. He let the smallest of a smile slip through and then he remembered what else he wanted to say. "Thanks for bringing me dinner. I think that helped the most."

"It's no problem. Just make sure you keep eating, alright?"

"That shouldn't be a problem." he said, laughing a little. He glanced down at his feet, not sure if he should leave or not. He looked back up at her. "Is there... Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of right now." she said softly, looking over to her bed. "I should probably get some sleep too. I'll talk to you tomorrow." she smiled, nodding to let him know he could leave. He nodded in return in turned to walk out without giving her a chance to stop him. He really didn't belong in there in the first place, but he did admit that her bed looked much more comfortable than most of the chairs on the Normandy. Idiotically, he hoped he got a chance to find out if it really was as soft as it looked.

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><p>"Should just replace the damn thing." he muttered to himself. He'd been repairing the monitor for weeks, and it still wasn't working just right. He would try one more time to get it to work.<p>

"You've been working really hard on that for a while..."

He turned around a little too quick for his own liking. But he did let himself smile.

"It's not like there's anything else for me to do around here." he shrugged, then rubbing at the back of his neck.

"Have you got a minute?"

"Now's probably not a good time." he shifted his feet. "I've wasted enough of your time already."

In truth, he wanted to do nothing but talk with her. Though, there were still regs and Kaidan intended on following them. He hadn't gotten to where he was now by breaking rules. Well maybe a few, but that was a long time ago, and he'd changed since then.

"Alright. We'll be docking on the Citadel in about 48 hours. I'm treating the crew to a round of drinks." she winked and then suddenly turned to walk away. He couldn't bring himself to stop her and ask why she'd just winked. Maybe it was better it was left to his imagination, especially with the rowdy group just around the corner eating lunch. That was enough to make his stomach growl quietly, forgetting that he hadn't eaten yet. He waited a couple minutes before calmly walking over.

"Hey, we were just talking about you!" Ashley called out when he turned around with food. She was sitting near, not next to, Wrex and Garrus. Interesting, given her previous statements about how she felt about them being on board. He sat across from her.

"I hope it was nothing bad." he muttered, nodding at Garrus and Wrex before he began eating, keeping his head down a little bit.

"Depends on how you look at it." Garrus said, sounding like he was in a good mood.

"Ash-"

"We were just commenting on how much better you seem after the Commander went to go visit you, that's all." she cut him off, grinning. He had to strain to resist rolling his eyes at that.

"I'm glad you think so."

He was regretting sitting here to eat. But he couldn't just get up and walk away now unless he wanted to reveal all his cards at once to people that could put his post in danger. Kaidan wanted to stay on the Normandy for as long as he could, but he'd willingly be reassigned if it meant he were able to be in an open relationship with Shepard. That is, if they even had one.

"How is she, by the way? I haven't gotten a word out of her today, and I just saw her leave after talking with you." Ashley then went on, not trying to get anything out of him, but genuinely curious.

"She seems busy, but fine."

"Hm. Maybe I'll try again at dinner." she shrugged and then stood up with her empty tray. "Talk to you later."

Good, he could eat in peace, now.

* * *

><p>"Why are we here again?" Kaidan had to yell over the music, and the crowd. It was too hot, too loud, and he was a little too close to everyone to be comfortable.<p>

"Shepard wanted to relax." Joker shrugged from his seat. "She's offering rounds so I'm taking them."

They were the only two sitting at the moment. Wrex was drinking the bar dry, with a wide berth between him and the other patrons. Garrus was upstairs in the casino with Tali, trying to figure out how to get the most credits without cheating. Ashley was with Shepard and Liara... Somewhere. He hadn't actually seen them when he arrived. Maybe he'd come earlier than he'd thought.

"Looking for someone?" Joker smirked, snapping Kaidan's attention back to the table. He wasn't in a mood to be putting up with the man if he was going to be relentless in his teasing. He wasn't wrong, but it wasn't exactly like he was hiding to begin with. So he picked up his drink instead of responding. Apparently that was the wrong thing to do. "Look, I'm not going to tell anyone what's going on. God knows where this mission is going to take us, and you're wound up tight enough as it is."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm telling you that you'd better take the opportunity to get drunk with Shepard while you have the chance."

Kaidan stared at Joker for a moment before sighing and turning his attention back to everything else. Maybe he was right, he could afford to loosen up a little. But he wasn't sure he'd go so far as to get drunk. That would take nearly as much alcohol as Wrex was drinking, and his pocket had a bottom to it. With a sigh he sat back and decided to at least look like he was being social, or having a good time at least. For a good ten minutes he just looked around, watching the start of a bar fight be quickly ended by a rather pretty girl walking up to the bar.

Wait, that was-

"Shepard, over here!" Joker called out.

He couldn't just leave now, it would be too obvious he was uncomfortable. With a heavy sigh, Kaidan forced a smile. Though when he saw her up close it became more genuine. He bit his tongue a little to keep from letting his jaw drop.

"You got a table for us, already." she grinned, sitting down across from Kaidan. She either hadn't noticed him yet, or she was just giving him time to adjust to this... different appearance.

"Yeah, well I wanted a good view of the place since I'll be sitting here all night." Joker said as he took a sip of his drink.

"You chose well. Thanks." she said, then glancing over at Kaidan. "Been enjoying yourself so far?"

He cleared his throat a little and then nodded. "I've only been here about fifteen minutes, but it seems... decent here."

"Decent?"

"I mean, I've been to better places. But for what's readily available, this isn't bad." he shrugged, hoping that wouldn't set her off. The corner of her lip quirked up and she crossed her legs, exposing that much more skin with her dress. But he couldn't take his eyes away from hers. There was something different and he couldn't place his finger on what it was. Maybe he'd ask if he ever got the chance to be alone with her without it being terribly obvious that they had... something. He wasn't sure what to call that, either. In fact, there was a lot he couldn't put a name to between them. But there was something there, at least.

"I think the idea is that the more you drink, the more you enjoy it." Shepard shrugged, "But, that might be a little harder for you."

"Just a little?" he grinned, knowingly raising his voice a little too much.

"Well, would you like to test my theory?" she leaned forward, looking ready to hop out of her seat and over to the bar.

"I would." Joker interrupted, getting a laugh out of her.

"Alright. I go get us a couple rounds set up." She stood up, only to have her seat be replaced by Ashley moments later.

"Hey, Alenko." she snapped her fingers and he found himself staring into brown eyes, not green eyes. "Don't screw this up."

"What?"

"You think she came up with this idea herself?" Ash sat back, crossing her arms. "No, Joker and I had to convince her. For your sake."

"For my sake? What are you trying to do?" he leaned forward, keeping his voice down the best he could while still being heard.

"Listen, with all the crap we're finding out, and the deeper we go with this mission, I'm starting to think we might not have much time left." Ashley leaned forward as well, "I'm just nudging you two along a bit."

"Well thanks for asking but we don't need it."

"Really? You seem a hell of a lot more interested in her than before."

"There aren't regs in the way, here."

"Is that all that's stopping you? Regs?" Ashley laughed. "I'll bet that if at the end of all this that everything goes to hell, that's going to be the last thing on your mind when you think about her."

"What's that?" Shepard came back with multiple drinks in each hand, a smile on her face.

"Oh nothing. Just small talk." Ashley stood up. "Just keeping the seat warm."

"You can sit with us. I was just about to have a little friendly competition with Kaidan." she took her seat back and divided the drinks evenly between the two of them, and then an extra for Joker. She then looked Kaidan dead in the eye, smirking. "I take a shot. Then you take a shot. Hesitate or puke and you lose."

"And how about passing out?" he dared ask with a smile.

"We can add that, if you're such a lightweight." she shrugged, picking up her glass, "Ladies first."

"Oh this is going to be great." Joker chuckled as she easily tossed down the first shot.

"What's your record, skipper?" Ashley grinned, all of them looking at Kaidan. He hardly hesitated as he poured the liquid fire down his throat. This was a game he was good at, unfortunately.

"45." she said with a straight face.

"Damn!"

"What the hell is this?" Kaidan grimaced once he found himself able to talk.

"Tequila." she smirked, taking her second shot and looking him in the eye as she did so.

"Wait, you've taken 45 shots of tequila before?" Joker held his hand out. She nodded. "How the hell is that possible-"

"Biotics." she and Kaidan both replied. He only knew she had them because he could feel them whenever she was within 20 feet. Just like he could feel Liara's biotics. Of course the natural biotics always felt weird to him. Almost invasive. But maybe that was just bias because of what he'd grown up around. He was sure he'd get used to it some day.

"Well I retract my previous statement." Joker grumbled, looking disappointed.

"Yeah, that's not really a competition, then." Ashley crossed her arms again. "I mean, I'd go up against one of you if I thought I had a chance."

"Fine. We'll just drink the bar dry." Shepard looked back to Kaidan, "By the way, I just won. You hesitated."

"I'm sure there are other things I could beat you at."

"Well now you've got my attention."


	5. Bad Choices

_Author's Note: Thanks to _**Sailor Centaurti1** _for following this story, and_ **stephanid98 **_for favoriting_!_ As always, let me know what you think of the story, and if there's anything you'd like to see put in. Thanks and enjoy!_

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><p>She had no idea what sort of trouble she had just gotten herself into. Catherine had apparently struck a chord in Kaidan that made him decide to pull her away from the group. She wasn't afraid of him, or what he could do to her, it was more that she was afraid of anyone who might see them. Yes, they were on shore leave. But it wasn't for very long. Either way, she sat down beside Kaidan at the end of the bar, putting her back to the wall and crossing her legs. Her hair fell into her face so she had to brush it out of the way, and in the process of doing so, she glanced at the bartender, and smiled.<p>

"What can I get you?" the young woman asked.

"I'll have three fingers of Asari hard liquor." she said, turning to Kaidan.

"I'm fine for now."

She chuckled and he turned to look at her.

"What?"

"You'd better have something to drink while we're here."

"I will. Promise." he was smiling and she couldn't help but ease off a little and lean back. He wasn't acting like his usual reserved and kind self right now. While that's what first brought her attention to him, it was incredibly enticing to see this other side of him.

"Alright. Then tell me something." Catherine couldn't wait to see what his explanation of this was going to be.

"Hm?"

"Why'd you pull me over here away from everyone else? Thought you wanted to be as inconspicuous as possible."

"Maybe I changed my mind, since we aren't on duty."

"A Spectre's always on duty." she said, turning to take her drink as it appeared.

"Good thing I'm not one."

"Yet." she quipped as she put the glass to her lips, drinking a good third of the liquor. She put the glass down and looked back up at him, "You still haven't answered my question with a definite answer."

She watched as he thought it over, and waited patiently for him to respond.

"I wanted to spend some time with you while I didn't have to necessarily make plans."

"So you're essentially asking me out on a lazy date?" Catherine smirked. He nodded and she let out a small chuckle, lightly hitting his shoulder. "You're lucky I didn't leave early like I planned."

"Why were you planning on leaving early, if I may ask." Kaidan leaned over a little bit.

"Get a drink, and maybe I'll tell you."

"I'm going to need a definite answer from you." he grinned. She rolled her eyes with a smile.

"Get a drink, _then_ I'll tell you. How's that?"

"Better." he waved the bartender over and got something to drink, looking at her expectantly. As soon as he had the glass in hand, she started to speak again.

"I was planning on going to visit my mom, since she's on shore leave right now, too. I don't know if I would have spent the night there, or not, but..." she trailed off in thought and after a couple moments she sighed, "I don't think she's doing as well as she used to be."

"I get that." Kaidan interrupted quietly. Well, as quiet as he could at the bar. She suddenly realized that this might not be the best place to talk with him about this sort of thing. She would willingly talk to him, though.

"Hey, listen. I'm going to go tell everyone I'm leaving. I'll tell them I have a meeting or something tomorrow morning." she took the rest of her drink, and gladly downed it, pushing the empty glass away gently, "Stay here for another half hour or so... And then you can come by my apartment and we can talk more, alright? I'm not comfortable talking about this sort of thing in the open."

Whether he would go for it or not, Catherine didn't know. She just knew that if he did go along with it, she would make it well worth his time, going out of the way to talk with her. He probably had plans to- actually, he probably didn't have anything better to do than spend time with her. After she saw him nod, they walked back to the table, and while everyone was there, she told them she was leaving. After a little protesting from everyone, she agreed to ten more minutes, then ended up staying another half hour.

"I'm really sorry everyone, but I need to get some sleep. I have a meeting first thing tomorrow morning. Stay as long as you want, I'll pick up the tab." she quickly backed away and headed for the door, ignoring all the protest to stay. She'd managed to walk all the way to the taxi stand without running into anyone, and as she was waiting, someone came hurrying over towards her, carrying something. It wasn't anyone she knew.

"Excuse me, ma'am, you dropped this!" he said, holding out something she would clearly never own, much less carry around: a purse. She chuckled.

"I think you're mistaken. I didn't take anything in there with me. And even if I did, my crew would know to hold it for me until I got back to the ship." she went to turn around and the man made the mistake of putting a hand on her shoulder.

She turned back and glared at the man, and when he didn't back down she hardly hesitated to throw her fist into his cheek, sending him slamming against the floor. And suddenly six men showed up, cornering her. She was a skilled fighter, sure. But even with her biotics six was too many to take on her own. So she did the first thing she could think of, and pushed the panic button on her omni-tool, alerting her whole crew with her location. She pressed herself against the wall, and tried to hold them off. She felt pathetic, being unable to save herself. The bouncers upstairs even looked at her, and stood there. If she had anything to say about that, they'd be fire before the end of the night.

Catherine watched as they inched closer. The man she'd sent to the floor was Human. The rest coming at her were Turian and Batarian. She was in shock, and didn't move when one of the men returned her punch with double the force, causing her to black out for what she assumed was just a few seconds when her head hit the wall behind her. Now that she was down on the ground, she was at a severe disadvantage. That is, until she heard shouting, and suddenly a small thunder of footsteps. Turning her head she saw her crew, minus Joker, running down the stairs. It would have deterred nearly any group even if Wrex hadn't been there. He'd shoved his way to the front of the group and growled into the face of a Turian, who immediately backed away. She let out a sigh of relief when the group scampered off, leaving their leader still groggy on the floor. She might have had a worse punch, but she knew where to hit to make it hurt. Ashley had already begun screaming at the man to get up and go home, Garrus backing her by threatening to call C-Sec. Meanwhile the only available medic crouched down and grabbed her chin, stealing her breath at the sudden action.

"One of them broke your lip. And I can already see a bruise forming on your cheek. Is that all the damage?" he asked with a little bit of a smirk, dropping his hand to help her up.

"Uh, yeah. I think so." she moved to take his arm and stand but found that she was getting dizzy, and so she slumped back down. "Alright, maybe not."

"Hmph. They get scared too easily." Wrex grumbled as the other man ran off. Catherine let out a laugh and they all stared at her.

"What, Wrex? Not a long enough fight for you?"

"Not enough of one. You got all the action." he huffed and turned back, "I'm going back in for another drink."

"Well, someone has to keep an eye on him." Ashley said, rather fast to follow him, along with nearly everyone else. Liara was still standing there, in the back. She looked confused.

"Why don't you two help me back to my apartment?" she said a little quieter, grimacing. She felt like she was going to throw up; the taste of her own blood was something she could never get used to. Liara seemed to relax and came to her other side. She put an arm around both of them, admittedly leaning more on Kaidan, because she knew he could take her weight. They didn't get very far before she began losing consciousness. She'd hit her head harder than she thought.

She came too a while later, and it was dark when she opened her eyes. Catherine was still dressed, though she didn't have her shoes on. A few moments later she realized that she was in her apartment, in bed. Lifting her head slowly, she found that she could sit up at least. There was light coming from the other room, where the living area and kitchen were. She was about to reach for her gun, when she realized that it was probably just Kaidan and Liara. She'd asked them to help carry her back, didn't she? They'd probably want to make sure she was alright after passing out. She let out a soft sigh and closed her eyes, just trying to relax before attempting to stand, and then walk. She didn't get the chance.

"Hey. Are you feeling any better?" Kaidan was standing just inside the doorway, one hand gripping the frame of it. She opened her eyes and looked over, smiling a little.

"Yeah. I just have a small headache, but I'm sure it'll go away soon." she paused and then motioned for him to come over as she pulled her knees up to her chest, keeping herself covered by the blanket. He turned on the light, and then came in and sat down next to her, just like she wanted. "So how far did you have to carry me?" she asked while he was habitually looking over her "injuries".

"Hm... Just about the whole way there. We barely got ten feet before you passed out." he smiled and lowered his hand and his voice. "I told Liara she could go if she wanted, but she insisted on making sure we got you back here safely. So I had her open the door. She was pretty quick to leave, though."

"So... It's just you and me here?"

"Yeah."

She held his gaze for a while, and had to remind herself that right now, she could do whatever she wanted. There weren't any cameras watching her, or people that could walk by and get her discharged. Catherine hated that she had to remind herself of these things so often. So, she decided to hell with it, and leaned forward to give him a little kiss as thanks. She leaned back again, and didn't make eye contact with him for a few seconds. At least not until she realized that he was getting closer to her.

Now she'd done it. She'd opened up the gate and they both knew that there was absolutely no backing away from it now. His arm reached to the other side of her body and held him up as he stretched over so that he could meet her lips again. She was mildly surprised that he hadn't asked her if it was okay beforehand, or something. That's what he usually did. But his lips were warm against hers and she felt her legs relaxing, laying flat on the bed once again.

Her fingers were suddenly trailing up the back of his neck, and then tangling in his hair. It was a little strange that she was acting without thinking, and that suddenly it was getting a little hard to breathe. She pulled her head back and started panting to catch her breath, looking up at Kaidan and searching his face for... something. She didn't know what exactly. Then she was suddenly being pushed back, losing her breath once again as she pulled him against her. Her head hit her pillow again and she felt his weight on top of her.

"Kaidan, wait-" she gently pushed on his chest. He was immediately sitting back up and she could barely see how red his face was before he was moving to leave the room. "Kaidan, don't leave." she didn't mean to act like she didn't want it. But, he was already out of the room. She huffed and got up as fast as she could, not sure that she would be able to catch him before he left. Luckily she caught him right as he was about to open the door. She grabbed his arm and pulled him to turn around and face her. He wouldn't look her in the eye.

"I... I really should be going." he said, trying to escape her grip without pushing her or ripping himself away. She sighed and dropped her hand.

"Kaidan, you don't need to run away." she waited until he looked at her to speak, "It's just... It's been a while for me. And it's not that I don't want you here, but I don't want to rush into anything. You know?"

He slumped his shoulders and she met his gaze, offering a smile.

"Guess it's been a while for me, too."

"So, don't just run off on me. You didn't do anything wrong - if anything I just needed to catch my breath."

They both chuckled and she motioned for him to sit down with her so that they could talk. They hadn't exactly discussed the terms of their relationship, so Catherine figured that might help to clear things up. They didn't exactly have much to say, though. Other than being sure that they could separate this from work, they didn't really have many concerns about respecting the other person. By now they could generate fairly accurate assumptions as to how the other person might react to any given event.

"What time is it?" Catherine yawned, looking for her clock in the room.

"It's nearly midnight. I should really get going." Kaidan stood up.

"But what if I have a concussion and need someone to take me to the hospital? They say the first 24 hours after getting your head hit are the most vital in diagnosing a concussion." Catherine said quickly, smiling at herself. Anything to keep him from leaving. Kaidan looked back at her, his mouth open slightly and smirking before he sighed and shook his head.

"Fine... I'll stay." he put his hands on her arms as she popped up, grinning.

"Then you'll stay in my bed with me." she took half a step back, "In case I need medical help, of course."

"Of course."


	6. Easy Choices Are Never Easy - Part I

_Author's Note: Thank you so much to _**Starvica**_ for following the story and to_ **carrotycake** _and _**hallucigennia **_for following and adding the story to your favorites_._ It puts a smile on my face every time someone lets me know that they are interested in my work. I put so much effort into making each chapter, and it's been paying off. _

_I know I haven't been focusing much on the missions themselves, so I will try to incorporate that aspect into this important chapter, as an experiment. I'm sure by the title you can guess why. Please, let me know what you think of the change, and if you want me to keep going with it every other chapter. As I've said before, I'm eager to hear your feedback, as well as any ideas for things you'd like to see in the future with this story. Enjoy!_

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><p>He had a bad feeling about leaving the Normandy. Granted, he had a bad feeling nearly every time he left, but this time was different. It was a feeling that sat low in his chest - practically his gut. He'd felt this way before and he couldn't shake it off no matter what he tried.<p>

"Something wrong?" Shepard asked before they got into the Mako. He looked up, deciding he'd better say something now before he regretted it.

"You ever get that feeling in your gut that something... bad is going to happen? I mean, no matter what you might try to do, you won't be able to stop something from happening?"

Maybe he'd said too much, or was stretching too far because she was silent for a moment, looking over him. When he was about to shove it off she nodded.

"I didn't want to say it, but I have that feeling too. I think everyone does - we've had it a little too good so far." She glanced at the helmet in her hands, almost as if she were expecting someone's head to be in it, if he saw her face correctly.

"I'm sure it's just a feeling. We'll get Saren, once we figure out what the STG needed." Kaidan nodded, bringing her back from wherever she might have started wandering off to. She looked up and sighed, nodding curtly.

"Right. Get in the Mako, we're just waiting on Tali." she turned to look towards the doors to the Engine Room, waiting patiently. Kaidan sighed quietly to himself and got in as he was told, taking a seat in the back so he could try to clear his mind before they left.

That night he'd been at her apartment had been the last time he'd seen her outside of the Normandy. He'd have liked to spend more time with her, but he also understood that if he pushed too hard to be with her he might end up ruining everything. It wasn't like anything special had happened, anyway. He was just another pillow for her to sleep on, really. Kaidan hated saying it like that, he knew that wasn't all that it had been for her. She'd said so, apologizing a few times to him, in fact.

Jokingly in response, he said he would only forgive her if the next time they saw each other he got to properly stay the night. She laughed and shook her head, not actually saying anything.

Kaidan opened his eyes and found he was smiling ever so slightly, and had a clear head now. Tali was just climbing in, followed by Shepard. He sat up straight again and got ready for the drop, listening to the Mako come to life around him. He'd never really been fond of these vehicles until he'd started serving on the Normandy, and now he could say that they weren't nearly as bad as everyone claimed they were. The driver had a few issues every now and then, but it wasn't like she was terrible. The worst had been on Therum to get Liara. Geth were dropping left and right, there was gunfire everywhere... Not to mention there was lava that could have easily killed everyone.

"Get ready to drop in fifteen seconds." Joker said over the radio. Everyone was strapped in and the cargo bay had been cleared. The blast doors started opening and Kaidan hadn't been expecting Virmire to look like this. It was so beautiful, and tropical. He wondered if this is why Saren put his base here - he seemed to have a niche for ruining perfectly good things. Off to the distance, in the deeper waters, it looked like there was a storm heading this way.

"Got a clean drop, Commander."

"Good, keep the Normandy out of range until we take out those AA towers."

"I know the drill. Meet you at the salarian camp."

Kaidan smirked. Only Joker could get away with back-talk to a superior. Regardless, the Mako started rolling towards the first AA tower.

"It's so beautiful here." Tali remarked quietly as she looked around. She was the expert technician out of all three of them, and Shepard valued her highly for that, and her genuine interest in helping however she could. It was refreshing to see that sort of enthusiasm.

They turned the corner to the first tower, and got under the cover of the walkway that led to the AA gun. They all got out and started to pick off geth, working silently out of familiarity with one another. It was nearly an effortless attack, with the only trouble coming from the destroyers. But they didn't last long with Tali around. Kaidan held point as the two went ahead to shut down the gun, then heading back to the Mako as the doors lifted, allowing for passage further to the second tower. The process was repeated whenever they ran across any pocket of geth, leaving nothing but soon-to-be rusting corpses behind.

"Uh, Commander?"

"What is it?"

"Normandy just touched down, but it looks like we're grounded. Salarian captain can explain when you get here."

"The hell?" Shepard growled quietly. Kaidan began to notice the feeling in his gut, again. The rest of the ride was smooth and uninterrupted, spare for Shepard mumbling to herself. She tended to do that, though he doubted she was aware she ever did.

They stopped far enough away that they walked, but the Normandy was indeed grounded. The salarian camp was bustling, and that made Kaidan nervous. Ashley was already talking with the captain, and Shepard was hurrying to meet up with them. He hung back a bit, confident in his commander's abilities to control the situation.

"We wait here until the council sends the reinforcement we requested."

"We are the reinforcement." Kaidan scowled when he was close enough.

"What? You're all they sent?"

"The council couldn't understand your message. They sent me to investigate."

"That is a mere repetition of our task. I've lost nearly half my men _investigating_ this place."

"So what have you found?"

"Saren's base of operations. He has set up a breeding facility."

"How is that possible?" Wrex grumbled, close enough to have heard most of the conversation.

"He has found a cure for the genophage." Kirrahe said, already nervous enough with Wrex a few feet away. Kaidan was too busy watching the body language to hear what was going on.

"We are not a mistake!" Wrex began marching off to the other side of the camp. That didn't bode well.

"I'll deal with Wrex while you come up with a new plan." Shepard held her hand up before the captain could speak, turning to face Ashley and himself.

"Looks like Wrex is going to blow a gasket." Ash said, looking over nervously. He knew she wasn't fond of the aliens, but she did seem to have grown a soft spot for the ones on the Normandy.

"Think I should go talk to him?"

"It couldn't hurt. Well, it might."

"Wait here." She turned, walking calmly towards Wrex as he began firing his gun into the water. All eyes were on them, and Kaidan wanted to get closer to hear the exchange, but didn't want to risk anything. He opted to stand near the edge of the water, just watching. Wrex's voice could be heard, but the words were harder to make out from this distance. He was suddenly nose to nose with Shepard, still looking very angry. And seconds later they were both pulling a gun on each other, at a stale mate.

His blood was chilling, and he was frozen in place. She'd have to do some serious smooth talking to get him to back down, or she'd have to take out one of her crew members. No one wanted to see Wrex go. He didn't just have good stories, but he had good ideas about what the krogan should do with their future. He could see that they weren't meant to be killers, but that there was still hope, somewhere. He could be valuable if he ever gained influence with his people.

Wrex lowered his gun the same time that Shepard did. And then he reached out to shake her hand. If Kaidan was seeing things right, Wrex was still angry, but it looked like it was rightly placed anger, now. Shepard turned back to meet with the captain again. Everyone could relax again.

* * *

><p>"Kaidan, you'll go with the captain."<p>

"Yes ma'am."

He didn't want to be separated but he wasn't about to disobey his orders. There was a solid plan in place and there wasn't much room for error. She turned to face him, and Ashley.

"Just keep your head low and time your shots. You'll do fine."

"Yeah." he hesitated, wanting to say something, but now was definitely not the time to speak.

"Something you want to say?"

Damn her for being able to pick up on those little things.

"It's just weird, thinking about being under someone else's command. I've gotten used to you, I guess."

"You get a break from her barking at you for a few hours and you're upset over that?" Ash teased, well aware of what was going on between them but willing to play blind to it all when she had to. Kaidan smiled and turned to go join with the rest of the salarians while Shepard went to gather her team.

He'd never been a fan of frontal assaults like this, but he was the only one with any real experience against the geth - he knew the tactics. So when they began their approach, he began looking for weaknesses. Calling them out when he saw them, it was almost as if Shepard was actively looking for ways to fix the problems. It was getting easier to march forward and take up a defensive position. It wasn't long before there was a break in the fight, which told him that they had to be close to the spot where the bomb was going to go.

"Shepard, how close are you?" he had to ask her - make sure she was alright.

"We're just on the other side of the doors. Get ready to meet at the rendezvous."

"Yes ma'am."

Not two seconds later, Kaidan saw Kirrahe get shot, and slump to the ground. He was in command, now. Doing the only thing he knew how to, he began barking out orders to regroup, hoping to hold out as another solid wave of geth came pouring out. He had never seen some of these geth units before, but he didn't dare let his fear show in front of the salarians. They were soon pinned down. When he saw the dropship heading not too far off, he felt he had to warn the others, but the warning was apparently too late.

"Alenko, get to the rendezvous!"

His blood ran cold at his own words.

"We're pinned down, I don't know if we can make it."

"I'm activating the bomb." Ashley said quickly. It became very clear in that moment that yes, they were going to loose either Ashley or himself. Both would be good soldiers and try to sacrifice themselves to save everyone else, but Kaidan knew that he was secretly hoping he would get to see another day at the expense of Ashley's life. Only Shepard could make the call now.

The silence was deafening.

"Alenko," he sighed, "I'm coming for you. Hold your position a little longer."

"Yes ma'am, I-I..."

"You know it's the right choice, LT." Ashley drove the hammer down with a determined yet wavering voice. It crushed him, and in his carelssness, he got himself shot in the stomach. Just enough to render him ineffective in the fight.

He continued to give orders the best he could in his state. He was beyond grateful and happy to see Shepard barrel out from the doors, quickly taking out geth, leaving few for Garrus and Wrex to take out. It was in that moment he saw her in a true rage, no doubt upset that she knew she was going to lose a friend in the next hour. It wasn't fair to anyone, and especially not her. Kaidan could only imagine what Akuze must have been like for her, and to have to relive this same pain... He would have to prove that Ashley's sacrifice would not be in vain - that she would mean something and that her name would be equal to Shepard's at the end of this fight.

When the fight seemed to be at its end, the turian bastard made his enterance. Kaidan was then relieved that he was already behind cover, listening carefully to the conversation that ensued.


End file.
